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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: October 1st, 2023

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  • I don’t think you’re disregarding me, your concerns are valid and natural. It sounds like you’re having a tough time emotionally right now, just in a different way than before.

    It honestly doesn’t sound like it would be healthy for you to pursue a relationship right now. You clearly have feelings for your friend, and while you logically know it can’t happen, you’re not quite over her emotionally. Getting into a relationship, or even dating, someone else at the moment isn’t healthy for you, and also isn’t fair to the person you’d be dating. You need to work on getting over your friend first, before adding more people to the mix.

    Do you have a therapist? You hopefully do, considering your history of suicidal ideation. If you have upcoming therapy sessions, I suggest bringing your crush on your engaged friend up to your therapist, and they might be able to help you process things. You might also want to dial down your interactions with that friend for a while.

    When you feel ready to put yourself out there, I would personally not try to approach anyone at work. If it happens naturally that’s okay, but I would personally prefer not to mix my dating and professional life if I could avoid it. Maybe there is some activity you could do once or twice a week where you’d meet people? I met my wife at an event at a local climbing gym. There are also dance classes, mountaineering clubs, art or pottery classes, and other activities which you might enjoy while meeting women with similar interests.