lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it’s not a “women’s space” as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it’s probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance “by women for women”. I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.
spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
We all pretend that it didn’t exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that’s the informal rule.
Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it’s less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.
Everyone Except Fascists and/or Tankies
I think that kind of goes without saying.
I wish
Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I’ve lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.
EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.
100%
It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.
Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.
It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.
I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.
I mean if you use the Marxist/Leninist definition of left then obviously not. But I mean left leaning in terms of the societal understanding.
Oh yea? One time I got kicked in the balls and it kinda hurt. Women have it soooo easy.
Alas I have been shown to be wrong! If not for my womanly ways I would have been the wiser!
you mean the comments that have been downvoted to the bottom?
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
that’s kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.
Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it’s just how it is now. Sort of always has been.
yep it’s pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there’s dozens of comments saying “what about the men” and completely missing the point
The response to “what about men” comments is, we’re already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.
Either is a foil for the other and it’s exactly the same bullshit.
As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.
Man, I have been in SO MANY internet arguments where I am simultaneously arguing against a woman that yes, men have problems, while also arguing against a man that no, those problems are not worse on the whole than women have.
Back when the whole “bear in the woods” thing was going around misogynists would try to jump in and support me.
Woman: “all men are rapists”
Me: “that’s insulting and hurtful and misandrist, and also not even close to true”
Misogynist: “Yeah! And also women are heartless bitches!”
Me: “I don’t remember asking YOU a goddamn thing”
no one is saying all men are rapists. what they are saying is that the statistics are great enough that women have to be on edge around all men. I wish you would take the passion you have for arguing against a generalization and devote it towards making sure the men around you aren’t part of the issue. I say that as a trans women who has seen the issue from both sides. I understand where you’re coming from, truly, but having been socialized male I saw that every man has chances to change the people around them and 99.9% fail to do so.
no one is saying all men are rapists
You know that’s not true.
What about the me
You can’t spell me with me.
wat
Most of the fediverse is male, and there’s a significant trans woman space, but there’s no spaces that really cater to cis women or to trans men specifically that I’ve seen.
And yes, I think it’s reasonable to look for a space that is strongly (though not exclusively) cis-woman, in the same way that a Protestant would feel out of place in a Catholic community, even though they’re all Christian. I imagine most cis women feel the same way as I (a cis man) feel when going to blahaj - like a friendly, allied visitor in a foreign land.
I can’t think of a single online space ever that has catered to trans men. It’s always infinitely easier to just act like a cis dude 99% of the time.
I guess there is Hudson’s Guide lol.
beehaw.org aspire to be nice, friendly diverse and safe. But they’re more towards nice, not women. And we have lemmy.blahaj.zone for queer folks. To my knowledge, there isn’t a place aimed towards women. Maybe heehaw is the closest… Still not really a fit.
You could go ahead and also ask in some of the women communities, see how they get along here on the Fediverse.
The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.
I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much “but what about men?” when talking about women’s issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.
I haven’t been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn’t see that as often.
I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.
It’s a more niche “back room” kind of forum, so there are less casual browsers and more technerds here, which makes it predominantly male for a lot of reasons that require a whole other discussion to analyse, but it’s exactly like when reddit was a niche “back room” website gaining popularity.
Lets not forget when reddit started, it was absolute chaos, some of the very worst communities imaginable where at home there, and the userbase RAGED every time some pedo or hate sub got purged. But they did get purged, and it became welcoming for a more diverse group of users to participate in. (Until the bot nation attacked)
But like what even is a social media for women? I wasn’t aware the ones we currently have were for men
reddit has /r/TwoXChromosomes which is one of my favorite subs. It’s a general womens subreddit, and though it obviously leans feminist it’s not its main purpose. It welcomes all genders, but remains a womens space.
The fediverse could really use that energy.
I wondered if they made the jump over here. Guess not, sadly. Reading that sub has made me a better man, because it offers some pretty harsh critiques of male behavior.
We used to have an equivalent on our instance, but it was constantly flooded with reply-bros and trans people complaining about the name, so we archived it as no women was willing to moderate it (for understandable reasons).
There’s also /r/WitchesVsPatriarchy which is also very strictly woman-centered.
Damn women appropriating witchdom. Excluding boywitches just reaffirms the patriarchy’s gendering of magic. It’s re-inventing the same gender roles.
Don’t worry you have nothing to get from people identifying as “witches”
This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.
Niche? Bruh, they’re half of the population lmao
Unfortunately it is niche right now in the fediverse based on the stats. That could change but probably requires a different approach to achieve.
Nicole is on a mission to single-handedly skew those stats
Reddit is pretty pro-female, what is this riddiculous gaslighting ?
BTW, ALL of Lemmy+Mbin are pro-female as well.
please don’t call women “females”
Pardon my ignorance but what would be the point of that? You can sign up on any instance and participate in any women’s communities. It’s not like there’s any way to verify the user’s gender anyway.
You really don’t see the benefit to a group of similar people to have a space focused on them, their wants and needs and daily lives? A community of people like them? It’s one of the most fundamental human desires.
A community like that would hopefully ban misogynists who go unbanned on other communities.
“Community” is the operative word there. OP is asking about an instance.
An instance can be a community in the general sense of the word.
Right but it has a very specific meaning here.
They (I think) meant that the instance would be a community, and the admins would ban misogynists.
Youre absolutely welcome to join Blahaj zone. Our wonderful administration team (both of whom are women) bans misogyny whenever it comes around to our communities. The mods for our main communities share a very aggressive moderation policy.
They also ban real users instead of the people literally calling their gender “dragonfucker” and “attack helicopter”
There were a bunch of users who got angry about these users mocking gender expression and then when they told the trolls to fucking stop Ada banned them
The blahaj admins are trolls
I give Ada a lot of credit. In the early days, I had the following interaction:
TOPIC: Something about sexual/gender preferences, I don’t remember, asking people their preferences
Me: responds with my preferences (I’m straight cis male, I like women so I’m down with post-transition trans women but pre-transition don’t turn me on)
Some random user: respectfully asks if I would be willing to date a pre-transition trans man
Me: I guess, but it probably wouldn’t work due to the fact that what I like about their body, they hate
Some of those professionally offended people took a misleading screenshot of my response and started screaming about “chasers”.
Ada did an admin post to the community backing me up and calling those idiots out.
So unless she’s changed a lot, I don’t think she’s a troll. It would have been easy to go with the mob but she stuck up for me.
Still could be TERFS.
I don’t have any deeper knowledge of that instance, just what I saw in all, so I don’t want to put anything on them. That thought just came across reading your comment.
I have made a mental remark in the past that the posts and users on this instance are better treated from afar, though.
It’s pretty harsh to just casually suggest that a person be a TERF without any specific evidence.
They also turn a blind eye to misandry.
You are part of the reason lemmy is unpopular with women.
i dont understand, please explain further. if blahaj mods have ignored misandry, that would be a bad thing. hate is generally regarded as bad, and misandry is hatred of men. therefore, misandry should be generally regarded as bad.
edit: someone has explained this to me
That’s true on face value. The issue is that accusations of misandry are almost always unfounded, and only made as a way to deflect and to attack women. So when people start talking about misandry, that’s generally a red flag.
It’s similar to how “all lives matter” is definitely a true and good value - but yet it is almost always said as a way to divert support away from vulnerable groups. So although the literal meaning is good, it is fair to assume that people saying it do not have good intentions.
Lemmy,blahaj,zone is run by Ada, who is a woman
I wish I could recommend blahaj, there are a lot of trolls in the space that the admins have successfully been guilted into supporting.
Ahhh, now that explains a lot.
Like what?
I rememebered Blahaj people accusing Lemmy instances of being misogynists left & right without any evidence
& were censoring anyone, just because they asked for evidence.
And what’s the insinuation here, given that being told the instance admin is a woman your response was “That explains a lot”
The insinuation here is the instance behaves like a raging misandrist, nuff said.
And terrible at adminning
how would they stop men from participating?
Why should they want to do that? That’s not how most sites for women work!
Just make it obvious that it’s meant for women and most men will exclude themselves
On a public forum?
Lol you wish
Why you want to create division?
Why would this be division?
Ask the people who deliberately work to make shared spaces uncomfortable for particular groups of people.
Like women only or hosted by women? Based on the selfhosted poll I’m guessing there is a 5% there is.
Not women only but women centric and with additional moderation protection. And yeah, I’d also say that women should administer and moderate such an instance.
its kinda sad how one of the biggest women’s community on the lemmy/mbin side of fedi is !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone…
i mean, it’s a great community, but yea.
There seems to be a majority of males even in that community though
Idk the majority of posters there are transfems afaik, with a smattering of femboys posting as well.
Are you talking about browsers/commentors? Cause almost all the prolific posters are women, unless you’re being transphobic
I don’t know any of them and would not even recognize their usernames. Just be real, there can’t be that many women, it’s just not consistent with Lemmy’s userbase. To me that sub draws more attention from men who view it as a fantasy. Read the comments and the posts, many of them don’t seem legitimate
Erotador, totallynotjessica, kewwwi, and squirrel are by far the people who post most there and they’re all women.
My yin, I’m the one with the blahaj zone account here
i can assure you that the majority of regular posters on femcelmemes are in fact women, and many of the regular commenters as well. this is in part because of the wonderful dedicated group of posters who keep the vibe immaculate, and if it werent for femcelmemes, myself, and many other women would be much less active on lemmy.
